the lovedrunk cowgirl

tonight at dinner 

I asked for tea instead of gin.

I traded in 4 am and cocaine

for weed and the taste of your pain.

in my dream I felt myself holding you

I jolted awake

and shattered the last glass

that your lips were molded to. 

I smiled as my finger bled.

I cleaned the floor and made the bed. 

you tell me that I’m restless,

you can feel that I am reckless.

but for the first time ever 

I’ve found a quiet place to stay.

I would cut my hands

with every broken piece of you

just to bleed for something 

that doesn’t numb me

or keep me awake.